Drive-By Networking
November 23rd, 2008“Networking” is becoming a dangerous term, misunderstood and misused by many.
Some see it as akin to speed dating: how many people can I hit as I blow through? Others go for the more-is-better theory: they belong to numerous groups and can be seen out networking all around town, all the time.
Certainly there is something to be said for having diverse networks and meeting new people. It’s a way for us to branch out and meet people outside our normal circle of acquaintances. However, as in almost everything, moderation is recommended.
At our monthly B2B Connections luncheon this past week, we had a classic networking drive-by: A sales representative who was firmly stuck in the “transmission mode”, never slowing down the sales pitch to get to know something about the people around him. I guess that’s not entirely true. He waited long enough for someone to say something that he could use as an opening to his finely honed spiel. He dominated the conversation, turning everything in the direction of the value of his product. Yoicks! Where’s the door?
Most business/social networking events offer us the chance to get to know people enough to enable us to decide if we want to deepen the relationship. Our B2B lunch is an environment of exploration and relationship initiation. It’s a place where introductions are made and we decide if we want to move this relationship ahead.
Jason Hager, Referral Institute West Virginia, offered an example of a different type of drive-by. His was of the ambush variety. Jason was invited to a lunch presentation and a “great chance to network.” Seems like every event we’re invited to, no matter the real purpose of the event, attempts to add to its attractiveness by including the irresistible chance to network.
Here, I’ll let Jason tell it:
I was invited to a “networking” lunch last week, held by a professional association, which turned out to be a sales pitch for one of their partners. Don’t get me wrong, the product was good (the food, not so good). My frustration is that I was invited to attend by 4 different folks, the association called every day for a week to remind me about this great networking event and their big draw was - it will be a great chance to network.
Upon arrival, I was asked to grab a lunch (cold-cut sandwich) and grab a seat. Then, I listened to a one hour sales pitch. I thought to myself: “Ok, at the end they will do some type of cool networking exercise, right?”
Nope. I heard lots of grumbling from participants about the event.”
These kinds of behaviors and many other networking faux pas come from inexperience, lack of knowledge, desperation, or just trying too hard. As we hone our networking skills, such behavior becomes more obvious to us and more repugnant. Experience has taught us that going into an event with an attitude open to meeting new people, seeking common ground, and finding ways to establish a meaningful connection is more valuable than grinding through the crowd for a sale. Comments I received through our Linked In discussion group from Pat, Tom, Erik and Jason focus in on a fundamental element of networking that separates the successful and the unsuccessful in this arena: “how can I help you?”… as opposed to “what do you have for me?”
