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Had a great conversation today with Graham Wickham, President and CEO of the Wickham Financial Group in Marietta, GA. Graham mentioned one of his agents, a new guy, made comment on a book he was reading. It brought to mind part of the definition of a good client for me: a life long learner. I’ve always enjoyed learning new things and reading. That pleasure seems to grow as I get older but I wish I had been more diligent about it when I was young. One of the best bits of wisdom ever imparted to me was by my old mentor and friend, Fred Yeager, of Met Life in New Orleans.  Fred once told me that “We don’t know what we don’t know.”  Kind of the premise of the book I was moaning about some months back, The Black Swan.

As we near the milestone of December 31 and prepare to cross into 2010, we hear the usual wisdom about getting your plan for next year complete. We all nod our heads and our hearts fill with good intensions but, ultimately, some of us will plan and most of us won’t.

I’m not sure what works for you. I do know that one needs to pause and reflect occassionally on what you are doing. Because as a business owner or independent sales person, you are sliding behind if you are not learning and adapting. The pace of change keeps increasing.

Discussions regarding the economy break out at the drop of a hat these days. Are we still struggling in recession? Are we in recovery? If we’re in recovery, what is the pace of it, how long will it last, is it temporary? And on and on. While staying current with all that, the most important question to consider is, “What does it all mean to my business and what do I need to be doing every day?”

With all this change and upheaval, it might be a good time to consider your business anew. Is your message (USP, Elevator Pitch, tag line) still relevant? Have customer/prospect needs changed? What are their current concerns and am I speaking to them? Am I providing the right products or services?

We will probably be attending various Holiday parties and functions; good networking opportunities, all. However, while meeting with clients, friends, colleagues, and prospects, this might be a good time to conduct a little market research and find out people’s concerns in the areas you provide solutions. A little Q & A could provide you some valuable information regarding who is in real need of what you provide and what their main concerns are. Maybe it’s time for some chages.

Besides, they will be impressed with what a good conversationalist you are if you let them do most of the talking.

“There was a Saint who had a vision about what it was like in Hell & Heaven.

In Hell he saw a huge table laden with food in the centre. Surrounding the table were starving people who all had very long forks attached to the ends of their arms. They could stab the food, but the forks were too long for them to put the food in their mouths. They were all screaming in frustration as they tried to eat the food that they longed for.

In Heaven, the saint saw the exact same table laden with food & people with the long forks at the ends of their arms. However, here the people were all smiling & enjoying the food. What they were doing was stabbing the food & putting it in EACH OTHER’s mouths!

The moral of the story is that our heaven & hell is right here on earth, how much we want to help others & be helped in return is what makes the difference.”

Thanks to Akhil Shahani, Managing Director of The Shahani Group who posted this on his Ecademy site. Now, how to apply this to business? Any thoughts?

I have the great pleasure of eating breakfast most Tuesday mornings at Matt Capozzi’s NY Deli on Roswell Road over here in East Cobb. The group is an ad hoc group of business people who meet because…they want to. That occurred to me today. And as it occurred to me, it also occurred to me that this unique group results from the culture established by a couple of folks in the group. You see, this group, like many around the Metro area, sprang up fairly spontaneously, not as part of a larger organized network. They wanted to create a group that attracted people who wanted to help each other. Not so unique; that’s what all these network/referral groups aspire to. However, not all achieve it.

At this point, I need to embarrass one of the founding members, Bob Zartarian. Those who know Bob, know him as a very outward looking fellow. He’s always looking for the benefit he can bring to other people. Bob’s attitude is representative of the group and is apparent to everyone who visits and, as a result, we have grown from 5-6 people to over 20. We have few rules but things run smoothly. And, most importantly, connections are made, business referrals are passed. There certainly are others in the group who add to the culture, Cliff, Tim, Peg, Larry, Bill, Ruthe, Eric and other regulars. All there regularly. All there to help each other. We call ourselves TONIC and the group truly is.

When I’m in town, I make it a point to attend. Not just for the business opportunity, but for the camaraderie of truly good people. For those of us who are “Lone Rangers”, working our businesses mostly alone, such company is essential for success. Look around for such groups, whether they are part of a larger organization or a neighborhood group like TONIC. Become a part of one. Contribute.

The good thing about our world is that there is an abundance of opportunity, in every sense. And that includes good people creating good networks.

I’ve attended many sales training programs and one of the topics that always comes up is asking for referrals. I once had a manager who prided himself on his expertise in building business by referral. Every week he would run us new guys through a drill which consisted of a number of questions: How many appointments did you have? How many people did you see? How many times did you ask for referrals? How many referrals did you get? There were some other questions such as, “How many note cards did you get signed?” But I won’t get into that right now. I used to call this the Sales Manager’s Name Extraction Program. It was less about getting referrals and more about getting names.

While the Name Extraction method may work, it is not much more fun than Cold Calling. Everyone feels a little uncomfortable and it certainly is NOT a relationship building exercise with your client or prospect.

In an article, Paula Frazier states that there are three main reasons people don’t get the quantity or quality of referrals they want:

1) They don’t ask.
2) They ask at the wrong time.
3) They ask the wrong people.

I’ll talk about number 3), Asking the wrong people, another time. Let’s talk about numbers 1) and 2).

Asking is important, but asking in the wrong way, asking at the wrong time, or asking the wrong people can lead to unsatisfying results. Before I ask for a referral I always ask myself if I deserve one. What have I done that will make the referral source feel good about introducing me to a trusted friend or colleague? Have I built credibility and trust? Build the relationship so that the idea of them referring you is a natural result, something they want to do. With many people, asking the for referrals before you’ve built a relationship is off-putting and can damage the relationship.

So when do you ask for referrals and how do you ask? What makes you feel like it’s the right time and that you deserve the trust and support of your referral source?

As networking becomes more the norm in business circles, people have learned that finding out how they can help others is a good way to develop referral relationships. And certainly, the realization that giving referrals is a good thing is solidly implanted into folks’ minds, as well. But sometimes we jump to the giving referrals stage before everyone is ready. Besides ensuring at least a level of familiarity that justifies trust and a reasonable knowledge of what the other person does, we should know a few other things before we leap into the referral mode.

As we create referral partnerships, we must assess the relationship and determine a number of things if we hope to be successful. A few of those things include: Are you giving your referral sources all the tools they need to be able to recognize a referral for you? And, do you have the tools you need to help them?

Here are 5 questions from our friend over in Indianapolis, Hazel Walker, both you and your referral sources should be able to answer for one another.
1. How would I know if someone I am talking to is a prospect for you? (from Bob Berg’s book, Endless Referrals)

2. What would you want me to say to that person if I meet them?

3. What might be going on in a company or a person’s life that would be a clue they need your services?

4. If I recognize the clue, what should I say to open the conversation on your behalf?

5. How do you want to be referred, introduced or connected?

Educate your referral team about how to help you, not about how you do what you do.

It seems to me that one of my biggest challenges is to remain consistent in my new business development activities. It appears to be the case with many of my clients, as well. Most of us have a good idea about what we should be doing; we just don’t have a good method for staying on track. So other than accepting that we’re doomed to the surges and droughts that result from lack of consistency, what can we do?

Much of the problem results from not having a process we stick with, nor an environment that helps us to stick with that process. Yeah, I know, you may not like too much structure. I’m with you in that department. However, without a process, you’re bounced from one activity to another without necessarily progressing closer to your goals.

There are many approaches to marketing but they all start with a well thought out plan. There are many forms your plan can take. I recommend a few to choose from: Appendix B of Business By Referral by Dr. Ivan Misner, “7 Sentence Marketing Plan”, article by Al Lautenslager or the OpPlan format used by the military (aka SMEAC or the 5 Paragraph Order.)

The second key element to making this work is having an implementation system. Solutions here include hiring a Business/Marketing Coach, joining a Master Mind Group, creating a peer coach relationship with a colleague, or hiring a Trunk Monkey, Marketing Coaching Edition Trunk Monkey. Having accountability to someone other than ourselves has a way of motivating us to get things done. And having to declare what we will do and then report on what we actually did makes a big difference. We tend to let ourselves off the hook but hate to come up short in the eyes of others.

I’m wondering what works for everyone to get and keep you on track. It’s a constant effort that is worth investing thought and effort into.

Getting your message in front of people has turned into a real cat and mouse game for some.  Seems like those boxes with the letters and numbers used for web site security to thwart those evil spammers isn’t enough to stop ‘em.  Reminds me of when I lived in the woods in Maine.  The mice were always figuring out whatever trap, bait or other contraption we could come up with.  The only thing that worked consistently was a cat: the personal touch. 

Other forms of leads acquisition are spokes in your marketing wheel, but for most of us the personal touch is the way to go.  So building a diverse network and creating key relationships is the best path for new business. 

I’ve been chained to my computer a lot this week, doing proposals.  Getting out has been tough but the shame of having to report my networking score card results in my coaching group drives me out.  Had a lunch with a group of folks yesterday (points) and will be going to a mixer tonight (more points.)  Watch out!  I’m looking for referrals for my “P’s”.  (Really big points!)  And I need the points. 

Lately, I have been in a few discussions about “networking”, what it means, what works, and what does not work so well.  Seems like every event, political, social, business or otherwise is a must-do because of the great networking opportunity.  Makes me wonder what this networking thing is all about.  We used to get together on occasion for the purpose of just getting together.  Of course, we “networked” in the sense that we developed relationships by spending time together and learning more about each other. 

It seems to me that “networking” has run amuck, gone wild, is out of control, taking on a life and purpose of its own.  We’ve got to attend all these events because they are networking opportunities and you can’t afford to miss one of those now, can you? 

Which brings me to the thought of broad vs. deep in building your network.  Broad is good, even necessary but deep is better. 

I know that broad vs. deep can spark great discussions, with the deep thinkers coming down on both sides of the fence.  Creating a diverse network gives access to a wide range of contacts, both numerically as well and from the perspective of variety.  This is good but not entirely for the reason we think: getting referrals for us.  While there are a number of things that can result from wild networking (spaghetti-on-the-wall theory), it is random and not a good use of your time.  And it doesn’t necessarily work well in getting to your target market.  However, broad may be  valuable as a way of developing referrals for your referral partners.  Some people are good at broad and that is why you want them in your well-rounded network. Remember Gladwell’s Connectors.

But to me deep deserves more attention.  Barring the person locked in their office all day, most business people get out reasonably enough and know enough people to be valuable referral partners.  If fact, they may know all the people you’d  ever need to keep you in business for years.  But we’re not tapping into that resource because we are not purposeful in our networking as a tool to building referral relationships. 

I’d like to hear a bit about “broad vs. deep”  and  your take on networking as we know it today.   

The more I review referral marketing activities with my clients, the more apparent the impact of behavioral styles becomes.  The common complaints of, “I’m not getting enough referrals” or, “I’m getting crumby referrals” reminds me of the Referral Institute mantra, “It’s all my fault.”   Because we expect our referral sources to behave the same way we would, we are often disappointed.  If you haven’t taken time to assess their needs, then your failure to achieve referral quantity and quality is all your fault.

Yesterday I was discussing referral development with two women, an I/D and a C/D, I’m guessing.  (DISC Model of Human Behavior)  As we talked, the differences in what they would be comfortable doing and the activities they were inclined to participate in began to appear.  The I/D’s tendencies were toward group networking activities such as mixers and other social-type events.  On the other hand, the C/D was very interested in discussing a systematic approach to referral development, much of it one-on-one.  The idea of meeting a lot of people for the sake of becoming a “Connector” (Malcolm Gladwell) didn’t make sense to her. 

Doesn’t it make sense to have a good understanding of a behavioral model to help you better understand yourself and those you hope to work with, giving and receiving referrals?  Remember the Platinum Rule, “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”   I’m a fan of the DISC model, mainly because it is so simple to remember.  Whatever the approach, it is well worth the time and effort to learn and apply this information if you are planning to be successful in consistently giving and receiving referrals.

Often, when people want to help someone, they make a “referral” that is a connection.  This introduction is based on their belief that you may form some sort of referral relationship where you will work together, contributing business opportunities to each other.  More often than not, these introductions lead nowhere.  Why is that? 

First, have you checked with the person to see if they need or want such a connection.  They may already have a good relationship with someone in that field, or maybe “someones” in that field.  I often tell people that I have all the friends I can handle.  In fact, like most of us, I have more friends than I can manage and as a result, am not as good a friend as I should be.  I don’t need more friends that I can neglect.  The same goes for business relationships.  How many can you handle and still maintain a mutually beneficial relationship?  Don’t add another phone call or meeting to someone’s schedule without knowing if it meets a need they have.  Find out what your referral partners need and talk to them before you make another commitment for them.

We do a monthly luncheon that is a chance to introduce people in a casual setting so that they can get to know each other and decide if they would like to move the relationship to the next step.  Think of ways such as this that start the process and that lets the participants decide if it is worthwhile.  Be a profitable referral partner and find out what makes a good introduction and the best way to make it.