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I have the great pleasure of eating breakfast most Tuesday mornings at Matt Capozzi’s NY Deli on Roswell Road over here in East Cobb. The group is an ad hoc group of business people who meet because…they want to. That occurred to me today. And as it occurred to me, it also occurred to me that this unique group results from the culture established by a couple of folks in the group. You see, this group, like many around the Metro area, sprang up fairly spontaneously, not as part of a larger organized network. They wanted to create a group that attracted people who wanted to help each other. Not so unique; that’s what all these network/referral groups aspire to. However, not all achieve it.

At this point, I need to embarrass one of the founding members, Bob Zartarian. Those who know Bob, know him as a very outward looking fellow. He’s always looking for the benefit he can bring to other people. Bob’s attitude is representative of the group and is apparent to everyone who visits and, as a result, we have grown from 5-6 people to over 20. We have few rules but things run smoothly. And, most importantly, connections are made, business referrals are passed. There certainly are others in the group who add to the culture, Cliff, Tim, Peg, Larry, Bill, Ruthe, Eric and other regulars. All there regularly. All there to help each other. We call ourselves TONIC and the group truly is.

When I’m in town, I make it a point to attend. Not just for the business opportunity, but for the camaraderie of truly good people. For those of us who are “Lone Rangers”, working our businesses mostly alone, such company is essential for success. Look around for such groups, whether they are part of a larger organization or a neighborhood group like TONIC. Become a part of one. Contribute.

The good thing about our world is that there is an abundance of opportunity, in every sense. And that includes good people creating good networks.

I’ve attended many sales training programs and one of the topics that always comes up is asking for referrals. I once had a manager who prided himself on his expertise in building business by referral. Every week he would run us new guys through a drill which consisted of a number of questions: How many appointments did you have? How many people did you see? How many times did you ask for referrals? How many referrals did you get? There were some other questions such as, “How many note cards did you get signed?” But I won’t get into that right now. I used to call this the Sales Manager’s Name Extraction Program. It was less about getting referrals and more about getting names.

While the Name Extraction method may work, it is not much more fun than Cold Calling. Everyone feels a little uncomfortable and it certainly is NOT a relationship building exercise with your client or prospect.

In an article, Paula Frazier states that there are three main reasons people don’t get the quantity or quality of referrals they want:

1) They don’t ask.
2) They ask at the wrong time.
3) They ask the wrong people.

I’ll talk about number 3), Asking the wrong people, another time. Let’s talk about numbers 1) and 2).

Asking is important, but asking in the wrong way, asking at the wrong time, or asking the wrong people can lead to unsatisfying results. Before I ask for a referral I always ask myself if I deserve one. What have I done that will make the referral source feel good about introducing me to a trusted friend or colleague? Have I built credibility and trust? Build the relationship so that the idea of them referring you is a natural result, something they want to do. With many people, asking the for referrals before you’ve built a relationship is off-putting and can damage the relationship.

So when do you ask for referrals and how do you ask? What makes you feel like it’s the right time and that you deserve the trust and support of your referral source?

As networking becomes more the norm in business circles, people have learned that finding out how they can help others is a good way to develop referral relationships. And certainly, the realization that giving referrals is a good thing is solidly implanted into folks’ minds, as well. But sometimes we jump to the giving referrals stage before everyone is ready. Besides ensuring at least a level of familiarity that justifies trust and a reasonable knowledge of what the other person does, we should know a few other things before we leap into the referral mode.

As we create referral partnerships, we must assess the relationship and determine a number of things if we hope to be successful. A few of those things include: Are you giving your referral sources all the tools they need to be able to recognize a referral for you? And, do you have the tools you need to help them?

Here are 5 questions from our friend over in Indianapolis, Hazel Walker, both you and your referral sources should be able to answer for one another.
1. How would I know if someone I am talking to is a prospect for you? (from Bob Berg’s book, Endless Referrals)

2. What would you want me to say to that person if I meet them?

3. What might be going on in a company or a person’s life that would be a clue they need your services?

4. If I recognize the clue, what should I say to open the conversation on your behalf?

5. How do you want to be referred, introduced or connected?

Educate your referral team about how to help you, not about how you do what you do.

It seems to me that one of my biggest challenges is to remain consistent in my new business development activities. It appears to be the case with many of my clients, as well. Most of us have a good idea about what we should be doing; we just don’t have a good method for staying on track. So other than accepting that we’re doomed to the surges and droughts that result from lack of consistency, what can we do?

Much of the problem results from not having a process we stick with, nor an environment that helps us to stick with that process. Yeah, I know, you may not like too much structure. I’m with you in that department. However, without a process, you’re bounced from one activity to another without necessarily progressing closer to your goals.

There are many approaches to marketing but they all start with a well thought out plan. There are many forms your plan can take. I recommend a few to choose from: Appendix B of Business By Referral by Dr. Ivan Misner, “7 Sentence Marketing Plan”, article by Al Lautenslager or the OpPlan format used by the military (aka SMEAC or the 5 Paragraph Order.)

The second key element to making this work is having an implementation system. Solutions here include hiring a Business/Marketing Coach, joining a Master Mind Group, creating a peer coach relationship with a colleague, or hiring a Trunk Monkey, Marketing Coaching Edition Trunk Monkey. Having accountability to someone other than ourselves has a way of motivating us to get things done. And having to declare what we will do and then report on what we actually did makes a big difference. We tend to let ourselves off the hook but hate to come up short in the eyes of others.

I’m wondering what works for everyone to get and keep you on track. It’s a constant effort that is worth investing thought and effort into.

Getting your message in front of people has turned into a real cat and mouse game for some.  Seems like those boxes with the letters and numbers used for web site security to thwart those evil spammers isn’t enough to stop ‘em.  Reminds me of when I lived in the woods in Maine.  The mice were always figuring out whatever trap, bait or other contraption we could come up with.  The only thing that worked consistently was a cat: the personal touch. 

Other forms of leads acquisition are spokes in your marketing wheel, but for most of us the personal touch is the way to go.  So building a diverse network and creating key relationships is the best path for new business. 

I’ve been chained to my computer a lot this week, doing proposals.  Getting out has been tough but the shame of having to report my networking score card results in my coaching group drives me out.  Had a lunch with a group of folks yesterday (points) and will be going to a mixer tonight (more points.)  Watch out!  I’m looking for referrals for my “P’s”.  (Really big points!)  And I need the points. 

The more I review referral marketing activities with my clients, the more apparent the impact of behavioral styles becomes.  The common complaints of, “I’m not getting enough referrals” or, “I’m getting crumby referrals” reminds me of the Referral Institute mantra, “It’s all my fault.”   Because we expect our referral sources to behave the same way we would, we are often disappointed.  If you haven’t taken time to assess their needs, then your failure to achieve referral quantity and quality is all your fault.

Yesterday I was discussing referral development with two women, an I/D and a C/D, I’m guessing.  (DISC Model of Human Behavior)  As we talked, the differences in what they would be comfortable doing and the activities they were inclined to participate in began to appear.  The I/D’s tendencies were toward group networking activities such as mixers and other social-type events.  On the other hand, the C/D was very interested in discussing a systematic approach to referral development, much of it one-on-one.  The idea of meeting a lot of people for the sake of becoming a “Connector” (Malcolm Gladwell) didn’t make sense to her. 

Doesn’t it make sense to have a good understanding of a behavioral model to help you better understand yourself and those you hope to work with, giving and receiving referrals?  Remember the Platinum Rule, “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”   I’m a fan of the DISC model, mainly because it is so simple to remember.  Whatever the approach, it is well worth the time and effort to learn and apply this information if you are planning to be successful in consistently giving and receiving referrals.

Often, when people want to help someone, they make a “referral” that is a connection.  This introduction is based on their belief that you may form some sort of referral relationship where you will work together, contributing business opportunities to each other.  More often than not, these introductions lead nowhere.  Why is that? 

First, have you checked with the person to see if they need or want such a connection.  They may already have a good relationship with someone in that field, or maybe “someones” in that field.  I often tell people that I have all the friends I can handle.  In fact, like most of us, I have more friends than I can manage and as a result, am not as good a friend as I should be.  I don’t need more friends that I can neglect.  The same goes for business relationships.  How many can you handle and still maintain a mutually beneficial relationship?  Don’t add another phone call or meeting to someone’s schedule without knowing if it meets a need they have.  Find out what your referral partners need and talk to them before you make another commitment for them.

We do a monthly luncheon that is a chance to introduce people in a casual setting so that they can get to know each other and decide if they would like to move the relationship to the next step.  Think of ways such as this that start the process and that lets the participants decide if it is worthwhile.  Be a profitable referral partner and find out what makes a good introduction and the best way to make it. 

Just wanted to report another drive by networking incident.  How about we get all this out of our systems by the end of this month and spend the rest of 2009 getting to know people and building relationships?  I vow to squash any future frontal assaults. 

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Anyone have any other drive by sightings?

 “Networking” is becoming a dangerous term, misunderstood and misused by many. 

Some see it as akin to speed dating: how many people can I hit as I blow through?  Others go for the more-is-better theory: they belong to numerous groups and can be seen out networking all around town, all the time. 

Certainly there is something to be said for having diverse networks and meeting new people.  It’s a way for us to branch out and meet people outside our normal circle of acquaintances.  However, as in almost everything, moderation is recommended. 

At our monthly B2B Connections luncheon this past week, we had a classic networking drive-by: A sales representative who was firmly stuck in the “transmission mode”, never slowing down the sales pitch to get to know something about the people around him.  I guess that’s not entirely true.  He waited long enough for someone to say something that he could use as an opening to his finely honed spiel.  He dominated the conversation, turning everything in the direction of the value of his product.  Yoicks!  Where’s the door?

Most business/social networking events offer us the chance to get to know people enough to enable us to decide if we want to deepen the relationship.  Our B2B lunch is an environment of exploration and relationship initiation.  It’s a place where introductions are made and we decide if we want to move this relationship ahead. 

Jason Hager, Referral Institute West Virginia, offered an example of a different type of drive-by.  His was of the ambush variety.  Jason was invited to a lunch presentation and a “great chance to network.”  Seems like every event we’re invited to, no matter the real purpose of the event, attempts to add to its attractiveness by including the irresistible chance to network.  

Here, I’ll let Jason tell it:

I was invited to a “networking” lunch last week, held by a professional association, which turned out to be a sales pitch for one of their partners. Don’t get me wrong, the product was good (the food, not so good). My frustration is that I was invited to attend by 4 different folks, the association called every day for a week to remind me about this great networking event and their big draw was - it will be a great chance to network.

Upon arrival, I was asked to grab a lunch (cold-cut sandwich) and grab a seat. Then, I listened to a one hour sales pitch. I thought to myself: “Ok, at the end they will do some type of cool networking exercise, right?”

Nope. I heard lots of grumbling from participants about the event.”

 These kinds of behaviors and many other networking faux pas come from inexperience, lack of knowledge, desperation, or just trying too hard. As we hone our networking skills, such behavior becomes more obvious to us and more repugnant.  Experience has taught us that going into an event with an attitude open to meeting new people, seeking common ground, and finding ways to establish a meaningful connection is more valuable than grinding through the crowd for a sale. Comments I received through our Linked In discussion group from Pat, Tom, Erik and Jason focus in on a fundamental element of networking that separates the successful and the unsuccessful in this arena: “how can I help you?”… as opposed to “what do you have for me?”

 

 

Here is another great post from our friend & referral partner Hazel Walker:

Have you updated your Referral Partners GAINS Profile for 2008? You may want to set that as a top priority for the first quarter. The G in GAINS stands for Goals, by now most people have their sales goals set. In my last Tip of the Week, I discussed setting your goals for your referral marketing plan. Now it’s time to share those goals with your Referral Partners and make a plan to help each other achieve those goals.

Action steps;
Set up one to ones with each of your Referral Partners. Remind them to bring their goals and their calendars with them.
Take your goals and your calendar with you to the meeting.
Share you goals with your Referral Partner
Find out their goals
Now, come up with one or two strategies that you can do to help each other achieve the goals that are most important.
Open your calendar and set dates for accomplishment of those strategies
Schedule your next follow up meeting.
Be consistent, check in with each other regularly, the more you help someone else get what they want the stronger you build the relationship that will get you want you want. “Givers Gain”

Hazel Walker is a Master Trainer for the Referral Institute, Executive Director for BNI Indiana, a member of the National Speakers Association, as well as a coach, mentor, and author. She can be reached at hazel@bni.com or 317-891-0355.